This shouldn't come as any suprise to any of you, but people like to stare at me when I go out in public. Yeah, I know...shocking.

Anyway, I went to the supermarket by my house today. I was out of coconuts and needed a few to break over my head at this gig I had that night at Slain Muskrat. First person I encounter is this frail little twig of a greeter at the door, who of course didn't greet me. No...she was too occupied giving me the same deer-in-the-headlights stare I get from most women.

So now I'm standing in the fruit & vegetable aisle picking out coconuts, and what do I see out of the corner of my eye? Two employees...two...watching me from either end of the aisle. For some ungodly reason unbeknownst to me, I apparently set off some kind of "suspicious" flag that caused them to keep tabs on me.  Hmmm...what could it be...the leather? Or maybe it was the skinned head? Possibly the makeup?

In the meantime, three kids with pants hanging at their knees are right near me swiping liquor. But of course nobody see that. They're too busy making sure the freak isn't stealing anything.

I decided to take matters into my own hands and launched a coconut at one of kids. It hits him square in the head, knocking him down and breaking the liquor bottle in his pants.

You know how the store thanked me for stopping three brats from stealing? I was arrested and have a court hearing for assaulting a minor. Did they get in trouble for attempted robbery? Of course not.

And all I wanted were a few coconuts to bash over my head. Unbelievable.

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