Ever since I've signed up for this "study," strange things have been happening, and I'm starting to worry for my safety.

I received a phone call from my second ex-fianceé asking me to return the engagement ring he gave me. He said he was getting married and really wanted tho give the ring to his future bride. Excuse me, but I just don't see how this is my problem. I understand that it's a 19th century heirloom from his great-grandmother who survived the sinking of the Titanic, but you can't ask for something back if you've already given it away. I've blocked his number and filed a restraining order.

A day later, a homeless man tried to approach me to beg for some change. I responded as I usually do in this situation...pull out my taser and give them five seconds to back away, when a kind gentleman stepped in and deflected his attempt. I turned around to thank him and was shocked to discover it was my first ex-fianceé. Such a handsome man...never wears less than Armani. We chatted for a bit until this skinny little twig covered in diamonds walked up and kissed him. He introduced his wife to me, but at that point I stopped listening and moved on.

The strangest of all things happened earlier today. I was at the jeweler's getting the studs on Prince cleaned when lo and behold, in walks the man who gave in to me. That's right...fianceé number three. And he wasn't alone. Yep...the bimbo attached to his arm was scanning the engagement rings like a dog eyeing a bucket of treats. Wishing to avoid yet another awkward situation, I quickly grabbed Prince from the jeweler and made for the door, only to stumble on the entrance mat and rip my skirt. Everyone turned to view my blunder. I covered my face and ran.

These "random occurrences" are beinning to worry me. I feel like Scrooge being haunted by the three ghosts; just replace the ghosts with fianceés. Perhaps I do need help with finding a relationship, that or I just need to start dating people in an even higher tax bracket.
8/11/2011 01:30:43 pm

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.


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